The Pink Mob

Okay, I know this story may be hard to believe, but bear with me.

Last year I took a mini vacation. Truth be told, I was traveling to Belize, to help my father pack up his father’s condo, after the passing of his father. They had been estranged for more than 20 years and after a brief reunion, he found him, permanently sleeping, in the chaise lounge, by the pool.

Devastated, he called me for help.

Shortly after I arrived on the island, I physically ran headfirst into one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Turns out, she was one of the lead detectives from the police force; assigned to investigate the circumstances surrounding my grandfather’s passing. Not that anyone believed my dad had anything to do with it, it’s just that my grandfather was a longtime resident, and they were doing their due diligence.

She had been looking for me. Apparently, it is frowned upon to drop food items on the ground. It could potentially cause issues with the wildlife in the area.

Every morning, I would take a walk on the beach, enjoying the spectacular views, and a juicy red delicious apple. I am not a fan of the peel; it makes my mouth dry and sticky, so I would shave them off with my pocketknife and drop them on the ground. After a deep dive into her pool-like eyes, and a pretty hefty fine, I began to pocket the remnants of my…